I pondered the answer and I then realized that I came back to God - He showed me His way and I was again on the right track. What I didn't realize was that being on the right track and not moving in the right direction was not going to bring me anywhere. I had to start moving and with the help of God, He started me on my journey.
Oh boy, what a journey it turns out to be! I had to discover myself, had to leave everything in God's hands. I had to start trusting Him - with everything. It is so difficult, almost impossible. I had to consciously make every effort to allow God to show me His way. Oh yes, even now I find myself trying to resolve problems that arise. Today I again fell into doubt not trusting God to show me His predetermined path for my life.
I was driving in my car to a customer and I caught myself full of doubt. The Holy Spirit cautioned me, 'leave it in the all-capable hands of your Father. Let His will be done!' In my car I started singing psalms, praising God, praying for His will to be done and to give me enough faith to trust Him, even in this very difficult situation.
I can tell you that the devil is working so hard to bring me into doubt, to doubt that God will be able to give a way out. I see God's work everyday, I experience His grace in my and my family's life. It is so wonderful to be able to know that He is there, that He is looking after each one of us, that He carries us in His powerful hands every second.
It hurts so much, to know that He is waiting for us to come to Him, to trust Him, to ask His help in all our life's plans and challenges. Never has it been so clear to me that He is always there, He is always available and He is never tired of our pleading voices and He overlooks all the messes we make of our lives.
Today my wife surprised me with a few words - words that indicate to me that she want to get rid of all her pain - all the skeletons in the cupboard, that she is ready to submit herself to the working of the Holy Ghost and to give her life to God. I've been praying so much for this to happen, I praise His name - Hallelujah!! God never stops providing in our needs and I know that to trust Him is the only way that there will be meaning in life.
As I'm sitting here and writing, my eyes are full of tears. It is tears of pain, suffering and total submission. I desperately need God to take control of my life. To allow myself to submit myself to Him and for Him to open my ears, my eyes and my heart for His soft and gentle voice.
The third road in my life is probably the most difficult one to follow. It means that I have to give everything over to God - I know it sounds so easy, have you tried it?
Have you almost lost your marriage, because you thought you knew better? Have you given up all hope for your loved ones, so desperately needing your love and also unable to be able to share feelings, frustrations, pain and hopes?
All that kept my family and me together is God's love and His fatherly hand, gently showing all of us the road. All through the pain and the suffering, He was there, keeping us on our knees and gently but firmly showing us His will!
Oh this third road is really the most difficult to walk, but it is with a willing heart and an eager footstep that I want to walk this road. I know that the price at the end will be so much more than what can ever be expected. This road leads to God's glorious and everlasting peace - the life next to His throne, in His Kingdom.
'O God, please keep me humble, keep me strong on my knees, give me the total submission to accept Thy will. Give me the faith to allow You to take all my problems, all my sins, yes everything into Thy almighty hands. Faith to trust in Thy will. O God, please take my hand and show me the way. Forgive me for being so small of faith but give me Thy strength to keep on trying, to keep on searching and praying for Thy grace. Hallelujah, Thy name is great!'
Sometimes we get afraid, afraid to accept God's plan for our life. We do not have enough faith to trust 100% in Him. We want to have things our way, this brings a conflict in us and it makes it difficult to see clearly, to listen to what God wants to tell us.
I have learned to trust God and to go onto my knees when in doubt. I admit that it is not always easy but I try and I know that the Holy Ghost is there to lead us, if we are willing to obey.
I'm looking forward to this 3rd road, to be able to walk this road with my hand securely and tightly in my Father's hand, allowing Him to lead the way. It is great, it is wonderful. You should also try it. He loves you enough to give you room enough and time enough to come to Him and give your life to Him!
One last thing - don't wait too long to make the decision - time is running out, so make the decision NOW and take the action! He loves you!
Copyright © 1999 Chris Putter (South Africa)
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